Six important things you can do right now for yourself & others
As we grow closer to the Holidays and the uncertainty of next year there are some things which I am doing in order to create what I would like to see. I invite you to invest yourself in some or all of the guidelines listed below.
Nearly every single minute someone is dying from Covid-19 here in the United States of America and it is only getting worse.
There is enormous pressure building in the lives of many American’s, uncertainty and insecurity are forefront. As the day’s progress and conditions worsen, many will be at the breaking point. Current human conditioning has taught many of us that when we do arrive at this dangerous cliff face of despair to react with anger, aggression & depression. This build-up energy, this negative emotional state, is looking for an outlet. As individuals, we have to find some way to expend this inherent volatile rage. Often this state can and will be, directed at those closest to us, our immediate family. All it takes is a trigger, that one last moment to set a person off, unsnapping the cap and releasing the pent up negative energy.
You have seen it, you have experienced it, you have done it, you are human.
A large part of being human relies on the interconnectivity of the brain, emotion, and spirit to function as a whole. When all three of these components are out of balance and/or negatively charged, the timer has been set awaiting a subconscious trigger.
Once the trigger has been tripped, there are three main types of responses.
A Limited Action may be akin to someone agressing towards you or your physical space. This is someone who is having a difficult time but has not reached the direct action stage. They can release their anger inside or outside of their direct environment as in the case of yelling, cursing, or gesturing. They may be very critical of others and feel frustrated, easily expressing their anger at those they don’t know in order to reduce their own suffering. Often this person is relieved after this discharge. They will likely continue functioning within the guidelines of a Social Relationship.
A Directed Action may be akin to someone challenging your physical space, trying to provoke an altercation. This is someone who is having a frustrated, hopeless, defeated time but has not reached the limitless action stage. They can release their anger inside or outside of their direct environment as in the case of verbal, emotional, physical abuse. They may be very critical of themselves and feel trapped, expressing their anger at those they care about in order to reduce their own suffering. Often this person may, or may not be, sorrowful after this discharge. They may then continue functioning on the border edge of a lawful social relationship.
A Limitless Action may be akin to someone dominating your physical space. This is someone who is also having an enormously difficult, frustrating, hopeless, emotionally & mentally unstable time. They can release their anger inside or outside of their direct environment as in the case of vandalism, physical violence, murder. They may be very critical of others and at a point where any concern of consequences is fleeting. This person desires to expend their negatively charged energy in a very physical manner, inflicting pain, injury, and death. This person may be invigorated after this discharge. They may then continue functioning outside the guidelines of a lawful social relationship.
Deescalating Triggered Responses – the six things we should all do.
1. Be Kind –
Kindness is the most underrated tool we have at our disposal. A kind word or action deescalates the opportunity for triggered responses and reaps massive benefits to the one receiving. Kindness offers to others a nontangible, heat quenching relief of the internal fire, often we do not see the after-effects of kindness to others.
The one who is giving kindness to the other has two unique rewards. First, being kind to another helps to put you in a gratitude state. A gratitude state changes our biochemical makeup, brings happiness, increases health, increases immunity, increases productivity & efficiency. But gratitude brought on by sharing kindness also changes your state from reactive to proactive. You are making an effort – being proactive – being kind to yourself and/or someone else. This action that you are taking in being grateful is helping to create a cushion between the levels of reactive states.
As an example. Let’s say that your day is rough, money is tight, and there is a difficult time with family at home. You aren’t even contemplating on gratitude, everything is bad, there is absolutely nothing good happening for you right now. Ok, that’s you, person (A).
Now, let’s say you decide to go down to the dollar store to buy yourself a bag of crisps with the change you are able to scrounge up from between the couch cushions. You’re desperately looking for a moment away from the chaos, you need just a nip of happiness from that bag of salty crisps, anything just to make your life a bit better.
While down at the shop you meet person (B) who is having a similar type of life. Somehow, someway there is an incident between person (A) and person (B), the shopping carts bumped into each other or something like that. Now if person (A), or person (B), is even attempting to practice gratitude on a regular basis, then there is an opportunity for a buffer between action & reaction; An option for a smile, an apology, a small gift of compassion towards the other. But if neither person is practicing gratitude then there is little opportunity for a buffer between action & reaction. Furthermore, the lack of state awareness combined with the lack of gratitude awareness creates the opportunity for the accidental encounter to escalate further.
2. Be Grateful –
Focus on the smallest attributes of what is positive in your world.
Gratitude & Kindness are best buds, you can’t have one without the other. When we search for gratitude within our own lives it elevates our sense of self and our appreciation of others. Regardless of how bad you might think your life is right now, out there somewhere, somebody has got it worse. When you make an effort to be grateful for the things that you do have in your life, it helps to change your perspective, thereby showing you other things to be grateful for. Also, when you learn to rest in a place of gratitude you will undoubtedly see things that would mostly be out of your awareness if you are in a negatively charged or ungrateful state.
3. Be Generous –
Now is the time to do more, budget in money to give away to those who are struggling with the bare necessities. For me, times are tight, but I still keep a few dollar bills in my front pants pocket for the homeless or downtrodden. Also, I hope these posts reach a few people and have them thinking about the way they engage with their life and others in their direct environment. For you first have to look in order to see.
The truth here is that anything you can do: money, time, effort, for those who are trapped in the dark tunnel of suffering will be beneficial. In helping others, the by-products for you are all positive.
4. Be Aware
Individual awareness starts from within, being honest with yourself on the actions you are or are not taking. Everything we do or don’t do has consequences. It is what we do most times that makes the difference. In being aware, it is accepting responsibility for your own actions within your direct environment. You can only control yourself, and even then, you only have control over yourself when you have awareness and active management of your actions, thoughts, and feelings. Meditation is a great way to teach ourselves about awareness. Learning how to “watch” your breath is a miraculous tool.
Physical awareness has to do with you and your surroundings. The people, places, and things that are within your direct environment. As we progress through this difficult time within our country, some may be looking to take advantage of others. That is why being aware of your physical surroundings is of vital importance. As humans we have vital inherent systems that help us detect areas of risk, these are well proven and consist of the autonomic nervous system, limbic system, chemosensory detection, olfactory detection, Charaka detection.
Mental awareness is all about the mind. Master your mind, master your life. Just like what we eat affects our body positively or negatively, the same holds true for the mind. What we watch, listen to, read about, think about, interact with, has an effect on us at a deep subconscious level. Without awareness, you are allowing yourself to be programmed, for whatever we tell the mind is its truth. When we ingest a singular venue of information over & over again, without verifying or vetting this information, we will then start to align ourselves with that world view and it becomes true to us, whether it is actually true or not is of little importance.
Emotional awareness is about our spirit or soul. Our emotional life is influenced by many aspects and is the most elusive component of a human being to understand, accept, and manage. Our body budget & its biochemical makeup play a decisive role in forming or supporting emotional formational states. The mental state is fuel for emotions, bad mental state, and its bad emotions, good mental state and there is an opportunity for good emotions.
Being easy, happy, kind, nice, generous, empathetic, sympathetic, is not an easy process. The world view broadcast to us is of strain & strife with enough positivity mixed in to keep us moving forward. It is up to us as individuals to be researchers about our own being, our own existence. What will it take for us to become positive, passionate, and engaged with our own life, on our own terms?
Most of us have no idea that our emotions are controlling our life. That at times, our actions are proceeding with little conscious thought. An extreme example of this is murder & suicide. The aggressor has all three interconnected aspects of the human in negative alignment. The brain, emotion, and spirit are all lined up in a limitless action phase, there is nothing to hold them back. No fear, no consequences, life in itself is of little value. All that matters is getting rid of this pain, uncapping the lid and venting this pressure of darkness.
5. Be Prepared
Preparedness is making a statement, I will undertake my own security in order to ensure the safety & wellbeing of myself and those within my direct environment.
- Have a plan – talk with your family and devise a plan of where to converge so that everyone can come together.
- Have a backup plan – determine and agree on a set of actions to be taken if the original preparedness plan is not a viable option.
- If possible develop a code word used for dire emergencies. A word that could be used in a sentence. A word to indicate that the individual speaking is in trouble and needs lawful assistance quickly.
- Have food & water preparations – just like you would plan for a busy storm season the same needs to apply here.
- Have safety equipment – flashlights, pepper spray, weapons, first aid, and practice using them. Make sure any lethal weapons are secured from children or teenagers when in storage.
- Have a bug out bag – have a bag for each individual with at least two weeks supply of necessities. There are several guidelines and options available online.
- Keep doors locked at all times while at home and be aware of who is around your property. Home with surveillance cameras has an added advantage here.
- When grocery shopping or out an about park close to the entrance. Pay special attention to cars passing by or people following you when you are loading your vehicle.
- When possible go out with a partner or family members, there is safety in numbers.
- Always try to be the most cautious & kind of anyone you meet.
6. Be Steadfast
- This too shall pass – nothing lasts forever – everything that has a beginning has an ending.
- Become the rock in your direct environment. Let those around you, come to you and just vent. Always offer a kind word or token of appreciation to them for their time, everyone is trying their best and this creates a feeling of trust & respect.
- Understand empathy and how it works. Just because you may feel some way about something, doesn’t mean the other person’s feelings are wrong.
- Small steps. Make the daily effort to pull everything that is in your direct environment forward so that each day you are walking towards the positive side of life.
The time is now
Gun sales at an all-time high – bullets flying off the shelves – people trapped together for extended periods – little or no income – bills mounting – food concerns – uncertainty.
On average twenty-four (24) people per minute in the United States of America fall victim to rape, physical violence, or stalking by a current or past partner. Because of COVID restrictions, it is harder to escape abusive situations. Resources that used to be open and available to Domestic Violence Victims are now restricted. We each have a responsibility to be our brother’s & sister’s keeper, to keep a watchful eye out for signs of trouble. Unfortunately, men are almost always the predator. Current times are challenging the leadership role of the American male, leaving domestic violence victims trapped.
Signal for help
Keep an eye out for this signal while video chatting with friends, sometimes 911 isn’t an option and you might just save a friend’s life.
Be well, Be Safe